DAY 13

(Day 7 continued) Todd arrives early and leaves later than last week. Ena has made lunch. Today, they talk values, old and new. Todd opens up about deep rooted childhood issues which he has seldom aired. Ena listens, is sympathetic and shares her own challenging upbringing, the middle child of 6; 4 brothers, 2 sisters, one of which tragically passed away in a freak accident early in her childhood. Ena surprises Todd with a love of boxing. He feels a little guilty for this gender stereotyping and she mocks him about it. Upon leaving, Todd offers to pick up any bits she might need in the week, if she runs short. They both know this is simply opening the floor for an off-the-record extra chat. She has his mobile number and says she will.

Rowan is beyond angry when he hears this arrogant government has been at it again. Their little boys wanting to play with big boys’ toys nonsense; assigning heavy-artillery codenames for things in their diaries. Firebreak lockdown. What was it before? Cobra committee. Circuitbreaker. Operation Weeting, which sounds like something unfortunate for a specialist to carry out in Michael Gove’s kecks.

Luckily for Rowan, he still has a large box of model making kit parts in the loft and a lot of time on his hands. He sets about making miniature 3D representations of what these ‘secret’ meetings might look like. At a passing glance, it looks like any other clever model, depicting an official looking board room. He is a minimalist. There is no reason to overplay this. The only detail out of ordinary is under the table. Rishi Sunak’s trousers are missing and he wears red heels to go with his ridiculous red briefcase. He entitles this one Fart Box Committee.

Scholesy, the 8-year old brindle Staffordshire bull terrier loves lockdown. His owner, grouchy Manchester United fanatic, Len, walks him 4 times a day, as opposed to his usual twice, sometimes once and there are significantly more dogs on the field than normal. It takes Len 10 minutes to get another dog’s ball off him. Scholesly is put straight on the leash, then marched home to a soundtrack of comforting curses.